Saturday, December 31, 2016

New hopes... 2017 :)

     As the day dawn closer to the end of 2016, many things run through my mind. It's been an overall rollercoaster-but-fulfilling-kind-of year. The good, the bad, the ugly, the wonders. The year opened up in havoc, with me trying to complete my Master's thesis in time for senate endorsement & convocation, work overload with the many company projects, severe headaches from sinus & stress (haha), blah, blah, blah... Things began to cool down a little by the 3rd quarter of the year & I was so happy to have my other good news in the final quarter ... pregnant. :) I thought the year's highlight would be achieving post-grad title & completing work projects, but the Almighty blessed me even further. :)

     Hubby & I have been trying to conceive since I completed my Master's & little girl stabilized (she was a late bloomer... started everything slowly but just lit up once she turned 3 in July 2016. She's such a chatterbox & active now. Yay! Praise to the Almighty). With little girl already 3 while little big brother is 5, having another baby would be another wonderful addition to our little family.  The timing would be just perfect, a baby in June/July 2017. :)

     I found out I was pregnant quite early as I have a consistent menstrual cycle. So, a few days off meant something was off (or on. Hehehe). Early pregnancy symptoms also came very early... the headaches, the cramps. With me in my 30s & being overweight (haha!), I thought that's why the symptoms seem more severe than my previous pregnancies. I was ecstatic to see my little fetus and it's heartbeat at 6w6d ultrasound scan. Yet, week after week, I felt weaker & weaker, hoping it would just last the 1st trimester. I was on MC for a couple of days each week during my 8th & 9th week. Finally, when I was hoping things would settle down, the bomb dropped on me near the end of my 10th week pregnancy. I started spotting & had more severe cramps. Not wanting to risk anything, hubby & I quickly went to the clinic. Unfortunately, I've miscarried. The doctor termed it as "missed miscarriage", there was no fetal heartbeat anymore. :(

     Not wanting to believe it, I went for 2nd opinion. Same finding. No fetal heartbeat. My world crashed at that moment. The doctor told me, the spotting will worsen to bleeding and more cramps. Go home, rest, let it come out naturally, but come back if the pain or bleeding becomes too severe. That was all the doctor could advise. That was on Saturday, 10th December 2016, my pregnancy at 10w6d. I was still in shock/disbelief as went home that evening.

     On Sunday, we sent my daughter to my in-laws. Our son was already "shipped" to my parents' place a couple of weeks earlier to spend the school holidays with his triplet cousins & my parents. God definitely has His ways in arranging things, right? :) I had come to terms & accepted the fact that my pregnancy has been shortlived. God has planned things for me & this pregnancy was just not meant to be. Hard to accept but faith will get me through.
Image result for inspirational Quranic quotes after hardships
(pic from Google)

     The cramps & bleeding soon worsened, as the doc said they would. Midnight Monday, things got too severe. I could hardly stand straight anymore while blood & clot were oozing non-stop. Time to go to the hospital. Admitted to DEMC Specialist Hospital at 3am, numb from the painkillers to ease my pain & blood loss (thank God insurance cleared. Haha). Since I still kept loosing blood & scan showed the miscarriage is still incomplete, doc (gynae) straightaway directed for D&C procedure to be performed. By 12pm on Tuesday, 13th December 2016, it was all over. I have completed my miscarriage via ERPC (Evacuation of Retained Products of Conception) at 11w3d.

Image result for inspirational Quranic quotes after hardships 
(pic from Google)

     The days that followed were mainly with me focusing on getting back to health, emotionally, physically, spiritually. Alhamdulillah, my dear hubby was with me through it. My miscarriage wasn't just my loss, but his too. Not having my kids around at that time was lonesome yet I was thankful as I had time to recuperate on my own. I did not have to worry about them as I knew they were well taken care of. Praise the Almighty for His plans. It was luck also I managed to find a wonderful confinement lady to take care of me for a week. Money well spent on her week-long package. :)

     Things were going smoothly. Still bled and cramped a little but did not worry much as I've been informed that it can take a couple of weeks to dissipate. Had my 1-week post D&C review on Wednesday, 21st December. All looked good. However, things took another downturn late next night. I was down with fever, flu, cough. Oh oh... By Friday evening, I was coughing & wheezing hard, could hardly breath & cramped badly. Went to the clinic, had to take nebulizer & referred to my gynae as the clinic doc feared post-D&C infection other than my asthma attack due to the fever & cramps. So hubby & I land ourselves again at DEMC on Saturday morning, 24th December 2016. Again, admitted due to asthma/bronchial infection & possible post-D&C infection due to the fever & cramps. As rooms were limited, again, praise to the Almighty, I got a suite! If I wasn't so down with sickness, it would have been a great stay at the hospital. Hahaha... Well, 4D3N Christmas holidays at the hospital. Haha! :p

(pic credit to my sis,

My "road" to recovery... :p

     Alhamdulillah, I am safely home now, continuing my so-called confinement after miscarriage & healing myself from my asthma/bronchial infection. My son is home with us while our little girl cried her lungs out to go home with Opah Wan (my parents). Hahaha... I guess this is another of God's plans to still let me rest with slight ease (only 1 boy to entertain instead of the 2 cheeky siblings. Haha!). My next review with my gynae & doc (oh, I was treated by 2 docs due to the different issues) will be on Wednesday, 4th January 2017. Hope it will go well. Aamiin. :)

     Fuh... it's a long post... a closing post for 2016, mostly of this final month of 2016's events. Hehehe... Again, praise to the Almighty, I believe all that has happened & all things to come have been planned by Him for my own good, for my family's good. 

     For 2017, I will keep striving, keep surviving, keep believing, keep fighting. May God keep on blessing me, my family, my friends, & just everyone. Aamiin. :)

Image result for inspirational Quranic quotes after hardships
(pic from Google)

Happy New Year 2017, everyone! :)